Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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