Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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