she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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