ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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