I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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