you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
