Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
