Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
