Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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