he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
