I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
my liver is dry heaving
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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