and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
