fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
