They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
