I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
