why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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