Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize