I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize