ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
