I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
