I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
