I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
