i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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