just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
