He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
