HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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