There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
