just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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