He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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