Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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