dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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