i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The beer is more important than you right now.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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