and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
