I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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