covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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