Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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