i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
