There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
