He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
How's work?
Spinning.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
