I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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