puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I want a musical about memes.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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