I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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