all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
