Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
