when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
