The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Im part way to drunk.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
