god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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