That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
