I never want to see another naked old woman again.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
