Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
