He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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