I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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