Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
