He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
