thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
