Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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