Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
