So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
