how can u be prego again
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
