But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
