Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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