remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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