Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
