i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
